Overcoming the adversities of CHD-3

It was definitely a long week. Most of you have probably heard the saying, “We don’t talk about Bruno,” even if you don’t have kids. That perfectly describes how I feel about this week. I wish I could have approached it more positively or even had a magic genie.

First off, I totally bombed my English quiz on Salt to the Sea, covering pages 80-132. I scored a 60%! I listened to those chapters at least four times and followed along in the book twice. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t grasp the material, and I felt like screaming across the world. My mom was really upset when I told her. When she quizzed me on the questions during the drive home, she answered them easily, even without seeing the options. She knew the scenes right before and after the questions, which made me feel even worse. I hate my mom sometimes.

My mom helps me study every night. If I have to read something, she reads it too because she says that’s the only way she can help me understand. She puts in a lot of effort and says she doesn’t mind because, after her stroke when I was five, she had to relearn many things. Some days she gets as confused as I do, asking, “What is this teacher even asking?” It’s frustrating because, even with her degrees—she was preparing for Chiropractic School before her stroke—she struggles with my homework, making me feel like I’m not the only one having a hard time understanding things.

I’m allowed to retake quizzes and tests because of my learning disabilities.  I have a IEP/504 plan though I barely ever used in when I was in middle school or jr high.  But this year mu gosh. Butt my teacher said that 60% is proficient (yes a 60%, F, is proficient. Is that really true? Is this why I’m struggling so much? I was able to read a bit, but it was  not at my grade level, and they still pushed me forward. Is it all my fault? 

Now I have to tackle another set of pages (133-198) with another quiz coming up on Monday, along with thirteen open-response questions and a story log due then. On top of this, I have to complete another part of my “year-long project” (YLP, this blog) This involves writing a reflection and an annotated source log using books and articles—things I find really hard to locate about my condition, CHD-3. My mom usually checks Facebook support pages because our doctors can’t provide much information other than how the genes mutated. It gets so overwhelming, and I just want to scream, “UUUUGGGGHHHH!”  That’s ultimately why I chose to write this blog: maybe teens or upcoming teens with similar challenges will stumble upon it and find some hope. I want them to know that they are not alone in struggling, and it will all be okay.

Then came Civics. Yep, I bombed that too, scoring a 59%. I studied my guide and used Quizlet, but none of it helped. It makes me wonder why some teachers even give study guides if they don’t match what’s on the test. Thankfully, my teacher is allowing me to retake the test after I show him my notes to ensure I’m keeping up.

In Science, I managed to do well, scoring 5 out of 6 on a CFA and 22 out of 25 overall. I also had a surprise quiz in Sports Medicine; I barely passed with a 70 out of 100.

Despite all the struggles, I ended my week strong in Agriculture, scoring 54 out of 50 on my test. I needed that boost!

However, balancing assignments has been tough. On Tuesday, I lost focus, and my mom ended up taking away my Chromebook and backpack because I couldn’t grasp one assignment at all. She and my dad tried explaining it to me, but I just didn’t understand. Even after my shower, I went to my room and finally worked hard to finish it last night.

My mom also took away my ticket to a Maroon 5 concert this Sunday because of my grades. Sometimes I feel like she expects too much from me, but I wonder if she really does. On a brighter note, I found out I earned an incentive day off from school for improving my state testing score in English! I can take November 21 off for doing well. My mom came to me with a choice: since I lost the concert because of my grades, I could earn it back by skipping the incentive day and going to school instead. To me, that sounded perfect. It’s likely a day when kids will be making up missed assignments, or maybe I can retake tests or get ahead on some assignments. I could really use all the time I can get.

Last year, I was tested for Dyslexia because I was struggling. After the testing, my mom learned I met two out of three criteria to join the program, but I didn’t meet the IQ requirement. I was told my IQ was below average and that I was working at my intellectual capacity. What does that even mean?

This week has been hard, but I’ll keep trying to improve and understand things better. Tomorrow, I am just going to take a breather, and spend some time with Dunklin (my horse) and forget about this week, and hope for a better one!!